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The Albin/Juliars in South Africa

Letter from Anna

The truth has been revealed. Please disregard all emails about South Africa that came before this one. They were a cruel joke made by a fraud. This following document was recovered about a week ago from a trading caravan crossing the Sahara, who claim to have found this diary on the banks of the Kululawa river in Namibia. We have been able to identify the handwriting as belonging to Anna Kleiner Juliar.

January 15th

Arrived in South Africa 4 days ago. Unable to write until we traded Mommy's wedding band for ink and paper (I think it's some kind of animal hide). After a grueling flight, we found ourselves deep in the jungles of South Africa, countless miles away from civilization. I'm gonna kill the publishers of that tourist magazine. Wandered around in the forest for a few days until we found some natives willing to take us in. No telling when we'll be able to reach any communications center. I have to go help the women cook; we're having agouti tonight. Better than elephant ass.

January 28th

Haven't been able to write for the longest time. Tsetse fly got me on the 18th; have been sleeping for several days. Daddy couldn't tell me how long, he was busy taking care of his snakebite wound. From my estimates, I believe it's the 28th; but I'm not sure. Must go help Mommy dredge the swamp in search of Noah; he's been missing for a few days.

February 3rd

Found Noah, a little worse for the wear nicely preserved in a film of sediment. But he's alive. Perhaps not for long. Damn war drums! Can't think with all this commotion. Civil wars are so messy. Guess the media in America did a nice job of covering this one up. Must go help the tribe fight off hordes of soldiers.

February 9th

Damn these drums! Think I might go crazy soon. If only this damn tent stopped swirling above my head. Must lie down. Not feeling quite right.

February 18th

Was stuck in bed last 15 days with malaria. Mosquitoes unbearable. Mommy and Noah kidnapped by soldiers last night. Daddy somewhere in the jungle, preferable only in one place.

February 23rd

Last night I realized I haven't seen the sky in more than a month. Ink running so low. Must preserve for important facts. Mommy and Noah recovered from the soldiers. Daddy missing. So sad.

February 29th

Can finally write again. Writing in elephant blood. Found Daddy. He doesn't talk about anything that happened. Doesn't talk at all. Made him snake stew. He didn't have much of an appetite.

March 4th

Hair growing too long. Past waist. Found an ant's nest in it last night. Cut it with a machete. Made an uneven haircut. War drums finally stopped. Replaced with inhuman screams during the night, and spooky masks.

This is where the journal ends and supposedly when it was lost by the bearer. If you have any donations to give to the search and rescue party sent out after the Juliar/Albin family, please send it to 103 Sonnekus, Camps Bay, Victoria Rd., SA 8005. All donations...cash, checks, jewels, credit cards...will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your generosity and for your willingness to find your beloved friends/family.

Yours truly,

Rana Ujanil
(head of the South African search and rescue squad)

© 2001 by Michael Juliar. All rights reserved.
Last updated: 11-Jul-2002